Monday, August 18, 2008

“Sometimes I’ll have a moment…like where I am and everything is enough…” (My So-Called Life)

I am parallel to the resting universe, aligned in the present moment, inviolate to volition. There is a calm in the contest between capability and completion, an upheaval of the undulating wistful systole, a rhythm of yearning that burns through the pulse of life. There is silence as the heart stops its murmur. Life wilts as eternity is glimpsed in intervals where fragments reach fruition. What completes me in those moments? The dark thoughts slip away. My body no longer becomes a vessel of past and future, the forlorn isle of man torn in his reconciliation of the two plights of time, presently found, improperly bound. I wish to protect this moment, safeguard and shelter it. For I have been reached momentarily after all of the successive attempts to penetrate the thick fog of miry thoughts. There is connection, finally. Living underground has grounded me unreachable, the cracked plates of my composition sliding past but never fitting…until the moment where everything is enough.

THEN…something happens to that moment. Enough crumbles to meagerness, completeness becomes divisive. How does the heart stop itself from breaking up enough? Dreams, passions, and desires will attack, latched on leeches, sucking greedily the perfect interval. I am left dry-mouthed, thirsty, shriveled up entirely. I want more. I want more, starved and beseeching for the ideal. Fantasy has never comprehended reality, but rather obliterated the ability of reposition in truth. Truth integrates and aggregates the whole, brings me into these moments.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Sweet pea,

I know eh, "how DOES the heart stop itself from breaking up enough?"

What I like:
"inviolate to volition", "upheaval of the undulating wistful systole"...the science really gets me :)

What I thought was interesting, but actually surprised that you put in = the leeches imagery.

The reason I was surprised is because the first major paragraph (to me) presents an almost romantic image. Then you get to the leeches sucking greedily, which almost sort of breaks the romantic image. (I'm not saying a bad thing though!)
However, I do like how at the end of the first major paragraph, you start talking about "living underground has grounded me unreachable", which does provide an opening to the second major paragraph where the tone becomes more dark.

(I love how you used "ground" twice in the same sentence only to have them mean different things - underground, and grounded.)

Love, Jules :)

Varaidzo1 said...

Thanks jules!
..very constructive comment and I truly appreciate it all, infinitely:)

awesome..I'm glad you like the science lingo!! Yes yes, you are right the first paragraph is definitely more romantic than the second, but that's only to set the mood of the "perfect moment"..the drastic shift in the second paragraph embodied in the leeches imagery illustrates that the moment has disappeared, that it has been sucked.

thanks for pointing that out..about the "grounded"...i swear you pick up things in my poetry that I dont even notice.

Thank you so much for your comment again, sweet pea :)

ceraye said...

nice work, again as usual! i love the line 'life wilts as eternity is glimpsed in intervals..." that is so true, i feel it from time to time, but those moments go all too soon. ooo and i LOVE 'presently found, improperly bound', so often have i wanted to break free too when those moments enlighten us! and nice imagery of plate tectonics, so fitting seeing as we live on earth too!

and how does the heart stop itself from breaking up enough? it doesn't. but God does. He starts and stops our hearts =)

Varaidzo1 said...

hey girl, thanks very much for your comment!!

thats very true..only God can stop the heart from breaking up enough..one can only find true fulfillment through him!! It is a challenge though!! But we're getting there slowly and have to let go of the things that tie us down.