Saturday, August 29, 2009

Too many deviations or unfocused mind?

I find that this life has a lot of deviations-- things that lead us away from God and His plan for our lives. Perhaps, the problem doesn't lie in deviations but instead in an unfocused mind. Afterall, I believe that most things we do in life can be redirected to fit into a framework where God is glorified.

For example, as of late I have been hit with work malaise. I dont know what it is about me, but I've never been one to enjoy any of my jobs. Perhaps it's because I've always had jobs that have been very routine and lacked variety. Perhaps it's because I could not exercise any unique skills. Perhaps it's because jobs have always made me feel insecure and I've always taken everything at the workplace extremely hard: not fitting in with colleagues, demanding bosses, long hours, etc. Sometimes I have thought that work is a complete deviation to God's plan for me. For example, I think, how is me being here for 8 hours straight checking out peoples' groceries going to help further His kingdom?

But I realize it does. I know that God places us where he wants us to be...and one never knows whose lives they can affect in these supposed "mundane" hours. Just working at a grocery store, I have been surprised by how a simple "hello, how are you?" and a smile can make someone's day. Just inquiring about people's lives makes them feel loved. I've always wanted time at work to speed up! to go faster! But I realize at work I am surrounded by God's creation, other people's mothers and sisters, others' loved ones. I need to remain still and I need to love, despite the discomfort that lurks inside of me...the "ahhh! I dont know this person!" Or "This conversation is awkward and I have to figure out what to say next."

...Have you ever looked into someone's eyes, not been pressured to say anything, but just let the fact that they are one of God's precious creation guide the conversation? Truly inquire and truly read them? Sometimes there isnt really any need for words, speaking is only one form of communication. I dont know why it is prized above all others--

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