Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Always something to work on!

I'm always finding that there is ALWAYS something to work on in my relationship with God. This summer, I've really been trying to build myself up in God's word so that I do not feel so fearful all of the time. I do this...time lapses...I find that I get irritated and angry by what someone did or said...and I'm like ok! I need to work on my anger management. I find that my attentions are focused on the wrong thing for a day..and I'm like..ok, wow..I need to work on this. Haha! There is always so much to be learning and always so much improvement! Of course this completely reinforces that our relationship with God is based mainly on who He is, rather than who we are or what we have done.

My brain is wired in such a way where I'm always thinking..okay..what can I do, what can I do to improve this, I HAVE to improve this, I have to pray...when will I improve this? But sometimes it is essential to just focus our attentions on God. We will always fall short as people and most likely there will always be one way or another where we fail to abide by God's will, but a focus on God will in actuality function to smooth over some of those inconsistencies in ourselves.

Some things to work on: grasping this oneness in Christ concept. Just when I think I have somewhat grasped perhaps even a fraction of what oneness in Christ is about, I am proven otherwise. Selfishness and individualism start to plague my thoughts. I am a yo-yo driven by emotion and God's word. Yuck.

When will I start to fully realize that a relationship with God essentially means oneness with His creation? I mean, it is there and I know it, but sometimes there is a disconnection or something. My relationship with God IS NOT just MY relationship with God, but it is my mother's relationship with God, my best friend's relationship with God, that believer beside me in church--his/her relationship with God. It is all of our relationships with God in a whole. When will I get this, understand this? When will it fuse with my spirit and guide who I am? Uh. That God blesses us through others, that other people's blessings bless us as well as our blessings bless others, that sin is not a one man show but affects everybody.

God's will for our live by the Spirit: "..let us follow the Spirit's leading in every part of our lives." (Galatians 5:25)

"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" I am reminded of a cheerleader give me an "L", give me an "O"..

when will it all just stick?

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