Tuesday, December 8, 2009

SADNESS-a word yes, but also an emotion.

Words are everything God is. You can create anything out of them. This entire world is words, layers, designs, combinations, alphabets, and spectrums- many ways to speak one thing. Diversity is in everything. Words bubble and sizzle through me- emotions transform when they hit the air into something you can understand. Two forms of the same thing- external and internal.

Emotions radiate outside their origins in the form of words, the same thing living in two different worlds.

Take the word sadness. Stagnancy, dankly dwelling heavily in your chest, cold pressing into your heart, splitting flesh asunder. Pressure, breathing constricted. Murky thoughts poisoning crevices in your brain, gray worlds and salty cataracts. Sadness. A word that does so much to your organs, reels your brain, changes your entire disposition, permeates into you, holding so much meaning in seven letters.

This world can never go as deep as you want it to go. Always surfacing, lingering, dwelling, but hardly entering, probing, protruding, explicating. I am sad. I am sad, but you don’t know what I mean. You will never know. My sadness is not your sadness. It’s a different form, tweaked and conditioned by my personality.

3 comments:

Gul said...

Wow girl! I love it! I love reading what you express - what you write. I tried to really understand the words you wrote in this post but there is one line or two that I probably will not understand to its true meaning. I do agree with you, that maybe I will not understand your sadness. Because despite having friends and the family around us, we all have those moments of sadness where no one else can understand our sadness. I hope this moment of "sadness" will surpass, well, of course it will. But take care of yourself throughout that moment, and keep writing because there is someone who reads them :)

Varaidzo1 said...

Thanks for your comment nazgul! Hey girl, how come I cant see your blog anymore??? If you're gonna make it private, you at least have to give me permission to see it!!!! Tsk, tsk!

All you say really means a lot to me. I enjoy reading your blog too, and am so happy and inspired by all of your words, and totally and completely relate to you sister! You and I get each other! I love it. Please continue it and I will always always read it sister, its so inspirational! Haha, this is actually smth I wrote a looong time ago and decided to put up so thank God I'm not "sad" as this piece suggests.

-nonetheless, sadness can be beautiful if we capture the treasures in it. Isaiah 45 says that God will hide treasures in the darkness. I believe He always does!

sparkling <3 heart on fire for u gal.

Gul said...

Hey Darling-

Regarding the blog - you will laugh, but for some reason I didn't know exactly how to add you lol (I was in sort of a rush when I changed the settings that day) So I assumed the person wanting to see it, makes a request? Yes I do sound like a dummy. But I have put it back, so you can read it :)

Aww you don't know how much you have helped me this year, and what your words have meant to me! And it makes me feel even better to know someone like you is reading something I write, because we get each other right ;) lol

I hope this blogging of ours will continue as long as time and situations permit, and I look forward to reading/hearing what comes out of your crazy head :)