"To see things in the light of their redemption" ...(source unknown)
Perfection is a memory from another world that we can't seem to shake.
It's like I live in these two existences--polar opposites of presences.
One girl, in a way, creates the other.
One girl, according to one paradigm, is a beautiful sinner.
The other girl is lost. There is no meaning in her life.
She is not a moral anarchist. There is still that undercurrent that gives her life some semblance of meaning. That sense of meaning fades, however, because she destroys it. She fails to see past herself. She lives in ambivalence and rebellion.
She does not believe that she has to live believing in the way things are. She does not understand why everyone is okay with everything-- an attitude that NEVER changed the world.
They want things to change, but they will never change themselves. Who is "they"..."we" "we" ..."I" want things to change, but I cannot change.
Avant garde emotions, novel attitude. A hunger for love but the famine that persists. A soggy day and dilapidated feelings. An argument, but no passion to feed it. I cannot persist in the gluttony of obsession.
I want to get out...but I love it here.