"To see things in the light of their redemption" ...(source unknown)
Perfection is a memory from another world that we can't seem to shake.
It's like I live in these two existences--polar opposites of presences.
One girl, in a way, creates the other.
One girl, according to one paradigm, is a beautiful sinner.
The other girl is lost. There is no meaning in her life.
She is not a moral anarchist. There is still that undercurrent that gives her life some semblance of meaning. That sense of meaning fades, however, because she destroys it. She fails to see past herself. She lives in ambivalence and rebellion.
She does not believe that she has to live believing in the way things are. She does not understand why everyone is okay with everything-- an attitude that NEVER changed the world.
They want things to change, but they will never change themselves. Who is "they"..."we" "we" ..."I" want things to change, but I cannot change.
Avant garde emotions, novel attitude. A hunger for love but the famine that persists. A soggy day and dilapidated feelings. An argument, but no passion to feed it. I cannot persist in the gluttony of obsession.
I want to get out...but I love it here.
2 comments:
so i absolutely LOVE this post, i can soo relate to it in soo many ways omg. the 2 polar girls. and the term 'beautiful sinner' WOW, speechless.
and yes, CHANGE and the need for it is so 'un-present' in a lot of people, that to find people who actually are into making a difference (other than in their own lives) is hard to come by. it is tiring and exhausting though, i'll admit, to wanna change the world, but what i'll say is that it's absolutely essential and the tiredness that ensues after is worth all the pain!
i love 'a hunger for love but the famine that persists' WOWOW!! and like the 2 polar girls that battle within me too, i totally relate to the last line - it's comfortable to be where we are, what we know, but change is needed for growth, and we so know it but it's so dang hard! haha
thx for sharing!! =)
~s
Hey ~S-*sssizzle*
thanks for your comment!=) yes, change is incredibly hard! But we just have to start in our own lives, and not forget that we consist of the world as well!
yes, i guess we just have to continually think of others and how they are uncomfortable so that we dont get too caught up in how comfortable we are. I think life is about fighting for others, so that their lives are decent. I hope I can be a part of that fight.
thanks for commenting again!!
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